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SLP 46: Self Love Quicky – Earning Self Respect
04, Feb, 2021
In this week’s Self Love Quicky I invite you to think about the words ‘self-respect’ and what it means to you. How do you know when you have it? What does someone look like to you who has self-respect? How do we build a higher level of self-worth, self-love and self-respect? Discussed in my book ‘The Art Of Self Love’ I am proud to share with you my thoughts around the importance of self-respect and how you can earn, maintain and ooze its magnificent power.
Take a look around you. Think about the people you admire and look up to and ask yourself, what are the attributes they possess that you are inspired by? Is it how they talk or hold themselves? Is it the way they look? Is it their success or ability to overcome challenge? Their incredible spirit? Their kind heart?
If you are willing to identify what you find attractive in those you admire, you will see a common thread among each of these people that runs deeper than appearances and any achievements. There is often a subtle energy, an essence that you love. It’s a profound deep sense of self-respect that you can feel when you’re in their presence, and you find that you are drawn into it with ease and with love.
But again I ask, what does someone with self-respect look like?
When we look to others with admiration for who they are and what they represent, it’s often because we feel uplifted by them, or we seem to feel better reading about them, watching them, or listening to them.
Conversely, if we find ourselves competing with people, comparing ourselves to others, feeling inadequate, not measuring up, and not feeling good enough, we may not necessarily bring out the best in ourselves. Sadly, the real fallout from this often sends us down a slippery slope of self-loathing and at worst, self-destruction.
I’d like us to explore the little voice inside and begin to pay attention to what we want and what serves us so that we can build our self-esteem and self-confidence. This, in turn, leads us to the ultimate experience of self-respect and self-love.
I asked my then twenty-year-old daughter, Tayla, to explain to me what someone with self-respect looked like to her. She said, “They know who they are and never apologise for it. They won’t settle for relationships that do not serve them. They don’t seem to concern themselves with what other people think of them, and they won’t compromise their own values to fit in, they don’t gossip or judge, they look after themselves, and they care for themselves, for others, and the planet!”
Tayla nailed it. In my mind, she seemed to encapsulate self-respect beautifully. Interestingly, when I ask people in my workshops to answer this question they are not as forthcoming in their response. People tend to have to really think about it.
‘Self-respect can be defined as a feeling of confidence and pride in your own ability and worth.’
As I investigated communities that have a powerful relationship with self-respect, I found myself drawn back to my roots of growing up in New Zealand, where the Maori culture is founded on the respect for family, including respect for self, elders, the land, and of course, their culture.
The Maori word mana means power, in the literal translation. The Maori dictionary defines mana as prestige, authority, control, power, influence, status, spiritual power, charisma – mana is a supernatural force in a person, place or object. Mana is the enduring, indestructible power of the atua (God).
Maori who grow up with the belief in mana since birth automatically have the notion of respect, which, generally speaking, seems to be missing in our European-based modern culture. Tribal cultures are blessed with an innate knowing that they have a force inside each of them that is akin to the power of God, or Source, or Spirit, which leaves them free to honour themselves, each other, and the world around them as a natural expression of being alive. It’s beautiful, and while there are many ways our modern progress has added enormous value, when it comes to the greatest expression of ourselves, I believe we have a lot to learn from our Maori and Aboriginal traditions, and cultural history.
Sometimes we just need to take a breath and surrender. Trust the path that is already mapped out for us and build a relationship with the mana inside as it grows to be a present and powerful force in every aspect of our lives!
Ultimately we know that self-respect is earned and not demanded or bought. I truly believe taking on just a simple beautiful Body Boost ritual (check out Podcast Number 18) is a sure way to earn a deeper more loving respect and connection with yourself. As well as giving huge thanks and appreciation to the most important person on this planet.
This topic is explained and explored more in my book ‘The Art Of Self Love’ where you have access to it on the link below.
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