So, a simple stimulus, just the words that someone says it can trigger us, but it’s based on attitudes you’ve pre-adopted. So, the first step is identifying, well what’s that little voice, that little gremlin that we’ve got in our head that as soon as we’ve been triggered, as soon as we feel that emotional response has been created within us, if we can learn to pause and recognise what that thought was, then we know we are in a position to be able to start challenging that thought. Because the minute you challenge it, the minute you ask, ‘Well is it true? Do I know that to be a fact?’, it is already lessening the impact it has on you. So, our attitudes create our feelings and thoughts, and it can happen at an unconscious level which is then driving our behaviour. Juliet Dyer
Juliet Dyer is one strong and courageous woman. Even in the early days of meeting her husband Stuart, she knew the risks and that there was a chance that congenital heart disease would play a big part. She knew it might affect their ability to have a family, but she had no idea the real impact it would have on all of their lives. Over a decade there has many surgeries and tests on Stuart and their kids. Juliet did what she needed to do to keep moving forward and learned the importance of self love.
She learned she had an amazing ability to cope with things. But her coping mechanism meant she pushed her own feelings aside which meant she eventually fell into a heap. She felt she had to maintain a presence of strength which also became her weakness.
This remarkable story is about one woman’s amazing ability to keep on keeping on when everyone needed so much from her. I first met Juliet at a Wellness Retreat. But it was at this point she realised she had not taken enough care of herself for a very long time or had shown any love for herself. She just kept believing she had no right to be emotional.
It was at this rock bottom moment during one of the Wellness Summit’s that she realised she needed to take better care of herself, she needed to show more love for herself and to reach deep inside and start thinking about putting herself into the equation.
Juliet pushed herself to learn and constantly educate herself on the relationship between the mind and body and today helps people to build their emotional intelligence. She teaches people how to have control on their emotions so that their emotions do not have control of them.
When it comes to being triggered it can start from our attitude and based on what someone says will depend on what is created in thought and how you feel which creates a state and outcome and then affects our behaviour. This is all based on attitudes that we have adapted.
Juliet shares some wonderful case studies describing how many who have the biggest hearts sometimes have little regard for themselves. If you are on your mobile phone all day you need to recharge it in the evening. But this is not something many do very easily.
Everyone is experiencing a lot of stresses at present. There is a lot of anger, frustration and anxiety. And everyone has an opinion and is upset or angry about something. It is about catching that thought in your head and not believing the stories you are telling yourself. It is about honouring yourself and just do YOU. Be ok being who you are and not worry about being anyone but you.
You are more calm and better able to show up with whatever is going on in the world. You become a better communicator and how to look after yourself. Learn about which battles you should fight and which ones to let go of.
We talk about the impact of covid and what it is doing to so many. How so many are missing their rites of passage. But also with a different lens it has become a very different change of pace. It’s a lot slower.
Juliet’s advice is to stay connected with those you love. Live by your values. Make good decisions and take big actions. Do everything to the best of your ability. Set a purpose. You may not be able to change what is happening but maybe it is a chance of focus. Get creative like zoom dates, Remove the heaviness you enhance creativity. Do what brings you joy. Find love and bring it into your day. Transition from one space into the other. Focus on your breath and go inwards. And then ask how do I want to show up in this next moment? This is all to become responsive not reactive.
The biggest thing is to PAUSE. You can then choose how you are going to show up. Find the thing that is best for you.
Juliet Dyer is a Leadership and Life Coach who specialises in transformational development through value clarity, behavioural change and emotional resilience and intelligence. Juliet works with individuals, teams and leadership groups across Australia who are seeking holistic yet highly effective coaching to eliminate stress and overwhelm, let go of self-criticism and self-doubt and to grow and succeed. Juliet’s approach- while left of field and non-traditional- simply gets results.
Juliet is an ICF certified Professional Coach, a qualified Kinesiologist, Master NLP Practitioner, Master Time Line Therapy® Practitioner and Master Hypnotherapist. She has trained in Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, is a qualified Emotional Intelligence Coach as well as a Health and Lifestyle Educator and the founding director of The Revitalise Centre.
While Juliet uses a mix of methodologies, she sees each person as an individual and changes her approach based on what that person or that team requires. When Juliet is not working with incredible people, you’ll find her out in nature with her family.
Juliet says to always bring in self-love, self-kindness and self-compassion.
Her definition of Self Love is having a high self-regard, it’s bringing in kindness and self-compassion. Doing the things you love with no guilt. It is owning who you are and going this is ME and I love… it is recognising when you are tired and being kind. If something hasn’t gone right it is not about beating yourself up, but learning from it. Bring in that love to yourself that you give to others… that is what self love is because you are your best friend.
Her favourite quote is:
Don’t talk yourself out of greatness.
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