“But what we’re embarking on with our podcast ‘Don’t Give A Fifty’ is to create a place for women like us who can tell their stories and also just feel like being a middle aged woman is not necessarily a time for being invisible or being uninteresting or disappearing as such.” Trish
“I don’t see my husband ever standing in front of the mirror and going oh look at me, you know, look at this, look at that and cellulite and fat stomach and blah, blah, blah. I don’t do that so much now, but I used to. They don’t do that. They don’t look at themselves like that. But we do. And it’s so destructive, like it’s so counterproductive to all this great work you are doing. Your mental health, your exercise, your discipline and your self-care ad those sorts of things. We really need to stop that in its tracks.” Mel
Trish Gordon and Melinda Salmond have been besties for over 35 years. These two amazing souls are boldly and bravely speaking openly about the transitioning into mid-life. And like all good friends they decided to share the journey and launched a podcast! This is a podcast for midlife women looking for a weekly hangout with two regular 50ishers who aren’t prepared to put on the handbrake just yet. Remember, fifty is the youth of old age so let’s cut the crap, be who we are and enjoy the ride together!
We talk all about the transition for kids leaving home, the empty nest syndrome, being at the mercy of a pandemic, relying on people and the feeling of being absolutely de-railed.
The realisation your kids are ok and all the angst, worry and anxiety you feel can be completely crippling to you, not your kids, they are out there living their best life. One must get your own life together and thrive as a woman again, not just a mother.
To live your best life there is a sense of needing to be in line with who you are and what your values are. To be congruent with who you think you are. Kindness is a huge factor. Treating people with curiosity and non-judgement is so important. To be generous and to feel that sense of satisfaction in all you do on a day-to-day basis.
Another important thing to live your best life is the power of self-discipline. This can really help you to live your best life.
We talk openly about aging with grace. Or at least the idea of it!! And the struggle with weight, keeping on top of your health and moving well as we age. We discuss what does body image can do to us growing up and then how it can be closely linked to self-loathing. How do we make sense of it in proportion to what actually is the problem is a big ask.
Trish talks about the emotional connection to getting shingles just a few months ago and how it made her sit still for a minute, much in the same way covid did last year. As she recovered, she questioned her health and the thought processes and how closely linked they were. The upside was this illness made her clean up her act and she is now eating more clean, real food, moving more and, as a consequence, is feeling so much more vibrant. There is always a gift even in the challenges.
Mel says the most important thing you can do to age well and be a great role model is to get up and move every day. Your kids will see you creating routines and looking after yourself. It is powerful for your body, helps with mental health, struggles with anxiety, energy, you sleep better, feel more toned and its wonderful for your own personal presentation if that’s important to you. As a fashion blogger this is closely linked with her identity.
Books mentioned in this show are:
You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
Loving What Is by Byron Katie
Loving Wholeheartedly by Brene Brown
The Art Of Self Love by Kim Morrison
It is ok to be vulnerable and ask for help. This is why these two created their podcast. Not everyone has their shit together all the time and that’s ok. If there is one piece of advice is to know that when nothing is working for you then the bravest thing you can do isseek help.
Mel and Trish’s definition of Self Love.
Mel – I think self-love is more around self-care. I relate it to things that work for me and would recommend you establish a routine, I believe in fresh air, benefits of Vit D, to clear the mind, going for a walk, even better with a friend. Get out and do some form of exercise. Start by meeting a friend as you are less likely to cancel for someone else. Be a little kinder to yourself.
Trish – I think it is whole-heartedly accepting yourself. Loving what is. Treating yourself with compassion, curiosity and kindness. Self-love is living with kindness and vulnerability.
Favourite quotes are:
Be curious, not judgemental.
Don’t let the wisdom of age be wasted on you. Ted Lassoo
Adapt and overcome.
If you’re sad, add more lipstick and attach. Coco Chanel.
Links to follow Mel and Trish:
Don’t Give A Fifty Podcast: https://kite.link/DGAF
SELF LOVE PODCAST SPONSOR LINKS
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MUSIC INTRO & OUTRO
Many thanks to Wes and Charlotte Carr – https://wesleydeanmusic.com/