Show Notes

This is one of my most favourite self-help and personal growth books written by Don Miguel Ruiz, a Mexican author, whose unique writings are based on ancient Toltec wisdom. This book is for people who are interested in ancient teachings and self-enlightenment and I have decided to share why it is a book I reference in many of my speaking opportunities and books I have written. It is simple yet profound.

Ruiz actually trained to be a Surgeon and after practising medicine for a few years his life took a change after a near-fatal car accident. This incident made him look at his life closely and made him realise he wanted more than success or money or climbing any medical ladder.

Ruiz moved to the US and studied under a shaman. He was particularly interested in the human mind from a scientific as well as a spiritual spoint of view. He published The Four Agreements in 1997.

This amazing little book stayed a New York Times bestseller for more than a decade, and he has written several other bestselling books including The Mastery of LoveThe Voice of Knowledge, and Prayers. He has also collaborated with his son, Don Jose Ruiz, to write The Fifth Agreement, which is another New York Times bestseller.

The Four Agreements has sold around 7.2 million copies in the US alone. Ruiz has written this book using Toltec wisdom (and a healthy dose of common sense) to show that we should strive towards personal freedom from the restraints that society – and our own minds – place upon us.

Depending on our upbringing, circumstances, values, beliefs, teachers, parents and understandings we learn how we are meant to behave and learn what we or society deems as normal. Very rarely we question these beliefs unless we rebelled or had an experience that changed our whole view point.

The Four Agreements shows us that there is a soulful way of living, a way that it doesn’t matter what our past is, what we believe or what we think society wants. By breaking free from the societal structures and expectations, we can make new agreements for ourselves.

1 – The First AgreementBe impeccable with your word. And never use it against yourself or others. Speak with integrity and say only what you mean. Avoid using the word you speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Your words transform the way you think, and affect the opinions of others, so choose them wisely.

2 – The Second Agreement – Don’t take things personally. Nothing others do is because of you. When people are rude to us, it can often stay in our mind for too long, and we constantly repeat the words in our heads. When you take things personally, you begin inadvertently start worrying about what it means, sometimes making it yours, even if it had nothing to do with you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you become immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. You don’t need to have other people’s acceptance, and nothing they say will hurt you. Everyone looks at the world from a different viewpoint, and you should also recognize your own perspective in this.

3 – The Third Agreement – Don’t make assumptions.  Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want instead of making assumptions. We often jump to conclusions and make assumptions that are wildly wrong. If you send a text to a friend, and they don’t reply, you would perhaps make the assumption that they were mad at you, or ignoring you, or too busy for you, or don’t care about you… without any real evidence. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. We also make assumptions about ourselves, and it will do us better if we replace assumptions with questions instead. This can be difficult, but it’s the only way to get the answers you need.

4 – The Fourth Agreement – Always do your best.  This agreement is to always do your best, even if your best constantly changes. It can change from moment to moment, it will be different if you are well and healthy as opposed to exhausted and emotionally spent.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret. This final agreement will help you to increase the power of the other agreements, while freeing yourself from old patterns.

I cannot recommend getting this book enough. You can get it through Amazon or Booktopia or listening to it on Audible.

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THANKYOU FOR LISTENING… If you would like to share your feedback on this podcast please head to my Facebook and Instagram pages below. Thanks so much if you take the time to give me a 5-star rating on iTunes so that others find this podcast easily and I sincerely appreciate all of your feedback and comments. It makes it all worthwhile as I know this podcast can plant a seed where big things can indeed grow!
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